Last Sunday, I lost my man bag which frustratingly contained my macbook, my diary, to-do book & work phone. Here is a letter to the thief.
‘Dear Mr Man Bag thief,
It was lovely that you popped into church last Sunday, though you missed the service by an hour or so. Please consider your time management in future. You even missed the biscuits.
I don’t know whether you realise that taking my bag will not benefit you in many ways. My macbook, though sellable for a nice profit, mostly contains thoughts about how to use a rubber chicken comically. This document is titled ‘Rubber chicken of doom’.
I doubt this is of use to you unless you have a rubber duck in your bath, in which case, this document could provide you with some comedy at bath time.
My diary will be of no use either. Though do feel free to attend the events and bring my macbook with you.
And finally, the phone has been blocked and so this will be of no use. It’s a rubbish phone anyway and if you try to sell it, they will probably laugh in your face.
If you are reading this on MY macbook. Please switch on I-cloud so I can track you down and bop you on the head with a spoon. Then I can have my diary back.
Many thanks and hope you do better in your next theft adventure.
So there we go. A letter to Mr Man Bag thief. Losing important things is incredibly frustrating. Jesus told a story of a shepherd who has 100 sheep and loses one.
He tells of the shepherd leaving the remaining ninety-nine sheep in the open country and going after the lost sheep, searching until he finds it. On finding it, the shepherd puts it on his shoulders and goes home and celebrates.
In the same way – God values you as an individual. You are not just part of the human mass. You are not just one small person in a large crowd.
You are unique and valued. You are worth searching for. You are worth a celebration.
Even you, Mr Man Bag thief!
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Liked this post very much. I think that is a very generous response. If somebody stole my woman-bag I would be shrill with disapproval mainly because of the notepad (for recording snippets from other people’s conversations) and the spare contact lenses. Will come back here again…
Hey – cheers for commenting – Would be funny if they read a snippet of their conversation in your notepad though…